I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
