come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
