In the future we'll all be gay
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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