Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
