drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
