After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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