just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
