just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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