belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
