I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
