He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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