Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
