ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
