So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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