Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
