i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
