I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
only if we run a train.
done.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
