Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
