I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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