Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
