a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The struggles of a small town man whore
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
