You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
