we have officially lost it.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
