the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
