She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
