i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
