singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
PANTIES FOUND
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