I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Green mimosas i think yes
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
