i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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