my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
