I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
