There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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