Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
