i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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