That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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