im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They are going to name an STD after you.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
