Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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