If i come over, it means nothing
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
