Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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