went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
