you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
