They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
