My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
