4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's always time for handjobs
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
