We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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