my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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