My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
