Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
