Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You were trust falling into bushes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
