I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
